So, networking gives you the heebie-jeebies and you really can't imagine anything more spine chilling than standing in a room full of strangers. Besides, there are lots of others who are much better at it than you are and some even like it. Surely it's better to leave networking to them, or is it?

1. Challenge your demons

Do you feel spooked about having to be constantly tuned in to every networking opportunity, so much so that you feel exhausted just by the thought of it? This negative view will make you feel gruesome, even before you've begun. Rather than avoiding networking, take the time to think about what opportunities you might be missing out on, or what others are missing by not having the chance to experience your individual magic. Whilst you may have to challenge yourself to take a leap of faith and face your fears, with a little planning, networking may not be as scary as you think.

2. What are your secret powers?

Networking is about making and developing contacts for mutually positive outcomes. If you're haunted by the thought that you're not a natural then accept it and move on to look at your strengths. Those who find networking hair-raising are most usually introverts. Their character traits mean that they're good at observing and listening, which are great attributes when it comes to being a good networker. Think about what specific skills you have that would be useful when meeting new contacts. Stir up your cauldron of positives qualities and you will be amazed at what you can conjure up.

3. Commit

Choose an event you think would be beneficial for you to attend and book your place in advance. By pre-registering it's in your diary and you are committed so there's no backing down or creeping into hiding. Now you can focus on what you want to get from the event. There really is no mystery or illusion, and networking is not as fiendish as it appears.

4. Set yourself goals

Why are you going to the event? What do you hope to get from it? For example, is there a specific person whom you would like to meet? Perhaps you want to learn more about a particular professional service? Whatever you want to achieve, make sure that you set yourself very clear, realistic and measureable targets. That way you will have a plan to follow, which will help to alleviate any feelings of terror and at the end of the event you will be able to judge if it was a spellbinding success for you.

5. Preparation

At the event you don't want to waste your energy feeling frightful about ill-fitting shoes or a stained tie. Plan ahead and make sure that you have what you need to look professional and smart as well as feeling comfortable. No one wants to see you looking like a pumpkin so have a stock of business cards and a pen to hand, so that you can hand out your cards and write notes as necessary. Another word of advice, don't arrive feeling too hungry or looking as though you are wasting away into a ghost, as it's not a good look to be seen frantically gobbling up the contents of the buffet table!

6. Recharge your batteries

With our busy working lives and all the demands that are made on us, an impending networking event can make you feel jumpy and jittery. If you're likely to be overwhelmed, then plan to take a short break in order for you to recharge your batteries prior to the event. A quiet spell with a 10-minute break can be enough to calm the most frazzled of nerves. Think of it as a power nap, without the napping.

7. Power up your broomstick and arrive early

If you find networking alarming, then you will find it much easier to be one of the early birds. It's less daunting to be one of the first arrivals than to have to walk into a room where the event is in full swing. By arriving early you can banish any sense of dread by giving yourself the chance to gather your thoughts, go over your goals and even give your appearance a quick check in the bathroom. If you have to collect a nametag, then it's a good move to be early as you get to peruse the names of the other attendees before they arrive.

8. Don't scare off potential contacts

Scan the room to see if you recognise anyone. Is there someone specific you would like to approach? If not, then make yourself a target for someone else. Don't lurk in dark corners like a spectre, hover by the bar or buffet table! Make yourself visible and keep a friendly and open expression that will provide an invitation to others to approach you. When you do connect with someone ensure to keep good eye contact as this will help you to focus on the other person and to demonstrate your interest in them.

9. Be a data wizard

This is where the reluctant networker can shine. So, you've met a new contact, now you have the chance to use your superior listening and observational skills.
Ask Intelligent and thoughtful open-ended questions, not ones that can only be answered with yes or no. Also offer some info about yourself, so that you don't appear too aloof or petrified to others. You will find that your attention to detail will be well received and that you will be well on the road to a long and lasting relationship.

10. Know when to say goodbye

Make sure not to bewitch your acquaintance for too long. Even if you are getting on like a house on fire both of you have to cast your spells on others. Also, rather than letting a conversation fizzle out; be aware of when to move on. A simple ‘It's been good to talk to you' will suffice and an exchange of business cards.
As to leaving the event, you don't have to stay until the very end, but do make sure that you have achieved all your goals. After all your preparation and hard work, you don't want to be haunted by any regrets.

10½. The golden rule

Simple - make sure that you connect with new contacts within 48 hours of meeting them. A thoughtful follow up by phone, email or handwritten note, referencing one of the nuggets of information that you gleaned about them will demonstrate that you are a master of networking and not a hobgoblin in disguise.

Happy Halloween!

Famous feet

Kevin Pilkington
Footballer
Shoe size: 9